"I've Never Heard Of Anyone Wiping Like That"

It's episode 254 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that girl scout cookies are terrible. Johnny needs backup that if you're the one that leaves someone at the altar, you need to explain to the audience the wedding isn't happening.

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It's episode 253 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup on Dairy Queens needing to move into cities. Johnny needs backup on relying on big hotel chains for a Mexican vacation. Enjoy and remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter!

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It's episode 252 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that there should be weather-tiered drivers licenses. Andrew needs backup that he needs a hobby. Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter! We're only one subscriber away from profitability!

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It's episode 251 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup on returning Amazon packages for his wife. Andrew needs backup that ads should quit showing themselves to you once you've bought the product. Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter!

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It's episode 250 of The Cavalry! Previous guest and friend of the show Brandt Tobler pinch hits for Johnny as co-host and needs backup that his plan to never pay taxes is win/win. Johnny magically appears for post-show banter so join the Patreon to get your Beehner fix!

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It's episode 249 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup on the Grammy's being the best awards show. Johnny needs backup that there should be a draft to decide who's the President of the United States. Enjoy!

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It's episode 248 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that living forever is overrated. Johnny needs backup that minivans have gotten a bad rap. Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter!

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It's episode 247 of The Cavalry! First Andrew needs backup that all movies in theaters should have an intermission. Then he pivots at the end to Reddit is the only fun social media site left. Johnny needs backup that Chicago drivers are the worst drivers. Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter!

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It's episode 246 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that thermometers should just be for babies and scientists. Andrew needs backup that vending machines should be just for soda and candy. Subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter!

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It's episode 245 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that no one needs a private Instagram page. Johnny needs backup that having your birthday around Christmas isn't actually bad. Remember to join the Patreon for post-show banter!

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It's episode 244 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that hotel points should work the same as airline miles where only the person staying there can get the credit. Johnny needs backup that when athletes give away autographed jerseys after games they should use a T-shirt cannon to get them up to the cheap seats instead of giving them to rich kids. Enjoy!

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It's episode 243 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that couches should come put together. Andrew needs backup that all preschools need bidets. Enjoy! Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter.

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It's episode 242 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that you should be able to declare gambling losses on your taxes (turns out it might be that you already can). Andrew needs backup that that "treating the symptom, not the disease" is actually just fine.

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It's episode 241 of The Cavalry! Due to scheduling problems the great Jason Russell pinch-hits for Andrew. Jason needs backup that he likes women who are hairy and have scars. Enjoy!

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It's episode 240 of The Cavalry! An update to Johnny's new dog! Then Johnny needs backup that companies have gone too far in warning us about ingesting plastic. Andrew needs backup that if you subscribe to a cable or streaming service it should work anywhere you can get online, not just in your hometown. Enjoy!

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It's episode 239 of The Cavalry! The Beehner's get a new dog! Andrew's back on the ship. Johnny needs backup on letting society crumble. Andrew needs backup that only true degenerates know what's going on with slot machines. Remember to subscribe to the Patreon for post-show banter!

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It's episode 238 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that the year the movie You've Got Mail came out was the apex of technology being good. Andrew needs backup that emergency vehicles need to either use the siren fully or not at all. Enjoy!

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It's episode 237 of The Cavalry! It's a class warfare episode as Andrew needs backup that in exchange for publicly financed stadiums, billionaire sports team owners should have to be filmed for 24-hours following a loss. Johnny needs backup that no one is allowed to have a billion dollars.

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It's episode 236 of The Cavalry! Johnny needs backup that political candidates aren't allowed to advertise. Andrew needs backup that rocking chairs aren't relaxing and if anything require the most work of any chair. Enjoy!

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It's episode 235 of The Cavalry! Andrew needs backup that we need a new Zulu alphabet. Johnny needs backup on not washing clothes new clothes you just bought before wearing them. Enjoy!

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